A Tired Sigh....

It's been a while since I last wrote a post - my friend a couple of nights ago gave me a reminder that I need to update my blog. So here's an update on my life people -

Ramadan Banquet happened last Friday - it was a huge success, and tons of people came out. More alumni than ever came out; we even had students from Harvard come! It was a lot of fun - though a really big blur. And when it was all over, I told myself, I can relax a little bit more now; though the relief had not fully sunk in.

Ramadan is now over; it's departure is bittersweet. I am glad that I can eat during the day - I have been so much more productive and my mood has improved ten-fold. I am sad, though, because I don't feel like I got as much spiritually as I could have out of the month. When I told one of my friends about that, she asked whether you can ever really feel like you made the most of Ramadan. Good point, I realized, but still - I felt spiritually disconnected this year during Ramadan, though it wasn't completely void of its spiritual value. It definitely had its moments. I will also miss seeing the community everyday, but hopefully we will keep in touch and spontaneously go out every now and then for coffee or a movie.

Eid was nice, though wasn't the same for me, but since I came to college it's always felt like less of a holiday and more of a hassle. I always miss my parents and old friends that have graduated and I hate the fact that I can never fully take the day off. This year was particularly frustrating, because our local masjid celebrated on Wednesday, when most of the U.S. celebrated on Monday or Tuesday. Nevertheless, it was nice to see people in their finery and go out to IHOP with everyone afterwords. I decided this year that I would sit with people I didn't really know, and it was incredibly refreshing. In that way, I think I am getting out of my shell - I am usually someone that really only wants to hang out with a few of my really good friends.

All my midterms are over - thank God for that! I even got one of my midterms back - and I did pretty well! It makes me optimistic about my other midterms. Though, school won't stop until Thanksgiving break....

*Sigh*

Daydreaming...

So I've been wondering about a lot of things lately. I've been so tired that my mind drifts a lot in class to things that are sometimes related, sometimes not.

First thing: Love and Obsession

Today in my anthropology class, we talked about the way love is seen in the Middle East. My professor used the story of Layla and Majnun as a cultural example of what Middle Easterners think passionate love is. To sum up their views according to my anthropology professor - it's insane, crazy, and a little awesome. But this is of course from the man's view - because it's always the guy that goes crazy in the Arabic love poetry. So I was thinking, what is it like for this girl, the one who the guy is dying to be with? Believe me, I have never had a single guy head over heels for me - let alone a string of them? What is that like? To walk into a room, and know that every guy is infatuated with you? Do girls like that know? If they don't know, why don't they - is that part of their appeal? And if they do, what does it do to their identity? So this is one think I ponder and hypothesize about.

Second thing: Ancient Greece

I have been taking a class on Ancient Greek History and I often find myself daydreaming about these larger than life characters and people we talk about in class. Some of them are probably mythical people like Agamemnon, Achilles, Theseus, Minos, just to name a few. Some of them existed like Homer, Solon, Socrates, Aristotle, Lycurgus, Darius, and Xerxes. Did these people know they were going to make history? What was it like to live with them and know them? Prof. Kagan is very good at make them seem near super-human with their values, morals, stature and life; his idealization of the Greeks borders on insanity - but he's still an excellent lecturer. But then Prof. Kagan talks about slavery, domination, lack of women's rights, and lack of technology, and I am snapped back to reality and writing furiously in my notebook. That's the real reason why he's a good lecturer; he keeps me focused.

Third Thing: Islam

I am taking at least two classes in which I grapple with Islam and the cultures that have adopted it, if not three (my Postcolonial Philosophies of Culture class, we covered the Arab world, and undoubtedly we discussed Islam's influence on the postcolonial Arab world). I am always daydreaming about Islam; what was it like to live during the Prophet's (S) time? How were things different? What really is women's status in Islam? How about the Muslim empires of the 11th and 12th centuries - was it amazing to live in a time when Islam was the majority religion and Muslims ruled over vast areas? I think about the prospect now, and I am a little scared - could we revive that apex of Islamic culture; do we really want to take over the world again if we could? This is what I do instead of listening in my Intro to Islam class - I'll just do the reading I tell myself.

That's what happens in class - and this is just a taste of the many things I like to debate and question in my head. Oh so complicated.....

Feeling a little crazy....

Today was my first day back after a break from fasting (I was riding that excruciating crimson wave), and I am dying. Not from hunger, but from caffeine deficiency - I will definitely need to go out for coffee after iftar. I no longer have the attention span to do my reading or work on my other activities - the lack of glucose and caffeine has really affected me.

Oof - I am so behind on my work and normally that would stress me out. But I am riding on a cloud right now - that's how happy I am - that nothing can bring me down. I haven't felt this good in a very long time.

Almost too long...

Oh no....the need for clarifications

So a comment in my last post has prompted me to post some clarifications and warnings about my blog. I often forget that people who don't know me or the kind of person I am read my blog; when I do remember, I censor my speech incredibly.

As for this last post about my trip to Cambridge and my experience with HIS, the comment made me realize that I wasn't clear with my praise. I don't retract anything I said in my previous post, because, to be honest, I either didn't mean it in a hurtful way or I was just joking. It was truly meant for the people who had been on the trip with me, but that doesn't mean that other's don't read it. I should have said more, including, "Don't get me wrong, the people were great and welcoming and I had a wonderful time at the iftar. It was amazing to be away from home and still feel like I had a community."

So here is the warning: my blog posts are never meant to be any kind of normative statement on people and their habits (unless I explicitly explain as such), but rather an amusing way to look at the often misunderstood or quirky things about life as a Yalie, Muslim, girl, or human. Therefore, though it might be hard to do this, please don't judge my whole character as a person (or a Muslim for that matter) through my blog. And don't take anything I say seriously - everything is stated tongue in cheek.

Clarifications done....

Whirlwind

Oh, I have had one hell of a weekend and I am going to have one hell of a week. Am I stressed? A little bit, but not nearly as much as I should be. I think fasting has broken my stress nerves and thus I release less adrenaline in these do or die situations. This past Saturday, I went to visit to Cambridge/Harvard with a few friends. We left right after suhoor and were in Cambridge by 8:30 AM. I had been up the entire night - I planned to stay up the entire day too. By the time I had come back to New Haven, I had stayed up for more than 24 hours. Now you know what I mean by whirlwind. But the trip was amazing; I met up with an old friend who had graduated when I was a freshman. It was wonderful to see her; I hadn't seen her since Thanksgiving of last year. I also met up with an old MSN buddy (if you are reading this, thanks for a wonderful time!), who showed us around his house (Harvard's equivalent of residential colleges, though I have a feeling that they aren't quite the same in spirit) and then hosted us at Harvard Islamic Society's daily iftars. It was interesting, to say the least. The girls were tremendously awkward, the guys couldn't look me in the eye (lest they burn in hell for catching the color of my irises) - so it was the Yale MSA representatives' mission (if they chose to accept it) to break down these gender barriers. And we did, with some success (I hope our gender mixed group has maintained their integrity), and afterwords we went out for coffee at Cafe Paradiso. My body has not been responding well to the lack of caffeine during the day - I am talking about uber-headaches that make me feel like a boulder is crushing my head. I know, I know - it's really bad - but caffeine is a legally addictive, cheaply found (for the most part) stimulant that allows me to do all the things I need to do. There I downed a gloriously bitter expresso machiatto, which allowed me to stay up with the driver and direct her to New Haven. And then I had to do work....

I had so much fun; I need more breaks like that - but how do you come down again to do the common drudgery of daily life? And people ask me why I am a realistic optimist (a.k.a. hopeful cynic)...