The Neverending Downward Spiral

After reading Foucault, you'd think I would try to relax by watching a fluff movie. Rather, tonight I watched Syriana with my sister and her friend. While it pointed to the possible roots of certain problems in the world today, it didn't offer any real solutions. In fact, the movie left me with the feeling that there is no way to get out of the downward spiral. Don't equate my dissapointment with bad movie; Syriana was no doubt a good movie. I can't give you too many details without ruining the movie, but it's pretty complex (not to mention negative.) There are several storylines, all of which you know are connected, and you wait for it until the very end; but it never really happens.

Why? As Roger Ebert said in his review, "Syriana is a movie that suggests Congress can hold endless hearings about oil company profits and never discover the answer to anything, because the real story is so labyrinthine that no one -- not oil company executives, not Arab princes, not CIA spies, not traders in Geneva, understands the whole picture." That's how you are supposed to feel too; sort of lost, trying to piece the puzzle together. Now I know how all the conspiracy theorists feel. It can all be a little overwhelming and disconcerting. Of course, the movie, despite it's complexities, is still to simple for my taste as a real critique of the ills of the Middle East and U.S. policies towards the region. Yet, movies that ever force anyone to question or think rarely can be complex; sometimes a simple point missing some nuanced facts is much more impressive. Yet, everything I hear, see, or read about the Middle East now, is backed up with this amazing base of knowledge I have aquired, which includes Lockman's book (which I will finish over break and have something amazing to say about hopefully). So if you are interested in the Middle East or just something to think about, definitely check this movie out.

Time...what to do when you have so much?

Man...now that the semester is finished, I have so much time on my hands. Really, I have a lot to do:

• Apply for some internships.
• Work on the MSA scrapbooks.
• Deposit a bunch of checks.
• Pay credit card bills.
• Write a book review for one of these student publications
• Choose next semester's classes.

Yeah, intense to do list, isn't it..now I am going to go procrastinate from it, by playing a computer game!

No Day But Today....

So I am finally done! Completely done with my finals...done with this awful semester! Well...that is it a bit unfair; it wasn't that bad. But all I have to say is that I am not sad to leave it behind. My last final was long and it wasn't easy...but it's done. I sound like a broken record...done, done, done, done! It feels so good to say that, and know that it's really true. So how did I commemorate this grand event? First I went out for dinner to VIVA's...a place I have heard a lot about, but never actually been to. It was wonderful not to have dining hall food. Then I went to see Rent the movie. And it was beautiful; the music always makes me happy. And Mark's not too bad...

There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today...
-Rent the Musical

Exhausted!

Tomorrow at 2 o'clock is my last final!!!!! I am almost there, and it feels so sweet. Just imagine once I am done how great it will feel. A huge burden will be lifted and it will be a new year, new semester, more possibilities and a clean slate. I am so excited about just being able to take a break where I have to do absolutely nothing! Thanksgiving break, I was constantly freaking about school and trying to make up work and failing miserbly. That won't happen this time around...no siree! But right now...I am just exhausted...and I think I'll sleep a lot at home!

Finals and Annoyances

Well, just came back from my second final, which was Introduction to the Middle East. I have a serious hand cramp, but other than that, I think it went well. I did have to memorize a bunch of unneccessary dates and facts that were completely irrelevant, but oh well. Hopefully I'll retain it for some kind of use later in my life...if that happens at all. Wow...I making little sense...but who cares. I only have one final left, and it's Crime and Punishment; and not to be conceited, I am sure I'll rock it. I am a political science major and I have taken the midterm.

So another rant coming your way...I have three email accounts. One with Yale, one with Gmail, and one with Yahoo, in order of their importance and how often I check it. My Yale account I check like every 2 minutes, my Gmail account like twice a day, and my Yahoo account maybe every other day. The balance has shifted though, because I keep getting these emails to my Yahoo account. I mean at least 20-30 a day. It's from this group called "Seeking the Path to Jannah (Heaven)", which is a Muslim group on Yahoo. They invited me and I joined, thinking what's the harm. Little did I know that the group was just another annoying spam group that not only clogs my email inbox, but the emails are crap. People are constantly sending in questions for advice on what they think are relevant Islamic issues, but really just bullshit. I hate to use such a strong word, but I can't help it. One email asked "What is a wife's duty to obey her husband? And how far does it go?". WTF!?!?!?!? I mean, honestly, I wouldn't have minded if the question asked what is a husband's duty to obey his wife, but it didn't. Why does the world think Islam oppresses women? It's because people go about spouting garbage like this! Obey is a word I use for God, my parents and the law, and even that one is shaky for certain circumstances. That's just the tip of the iceberg. People ask questions about mixing of the genders, and the advice sent back was basically that the only marriage that is acceptable is one that is arranged by the parents. Yeah...why doesn't anyone ask why the divorce rate amongst Muslim couples are so high? Clearly, it's because the women aren't obeying their husbands. They ask about whether you should wish Christians a "Merry Christmas". Really people, do you honestly think that is going to tip the scales against you at the Day of Judgement. They ask whether we should send our kids off to universities where they could be pressured to drink alcohol and do drugs. Wait...let's compromise our children's future because we were too lazy to raise them properly and teach them how to deal with peer pressure! Hate to use the word again...but...that's bullshit!

That said...the rant is officially over. More coming at you later!

Marathon Week...but still interesting reads

So today's the second day of my marathon finals week. One more tomorrow and then another on Friday. Going to go study with a girl (who I love dearly) is so meticulous about details that it takes us an hour to go through one of the lectures...that will be a marathon in and of itself. Slowly people are leaving to go home...I am so jealous. I'll be in their place in 4 days.

So I have been trying to make up some of the reading for "Introduction to the Middle East", which is the final I have on Wednesday. The book that I have to read is Contending Vision of the Middle East: The History and Politics of Orientalism. Very interesting read; talks about all the different scholarship on the Middle East from the time of Ancient Greece until now, and how the Western vision of the Middle East has been shaped through time. It addresses Said's Orientalism, but unfortunately I have not gotten to that part; I know someone who would be very sad about that part. So if you are interested in the Middle East and Orientalism, definitely pick up this book; it's a nice companion to Orientalism.

Nervous

So I just had one of my finals...phew! It was not too bad (I finished it in an hour and we have three hours to finish the exam). You know that feeling after you've taken a test, and you want to check the answers to your test. You have to resist the urge though, because otherwise you'll get down on yourself for getting little things wrong. So I am trying to resist the urge...maybe a question or two...no!!! I can't...I absolutely can not do that! Otherwise, I'll be even more nervous then I have to be. Update you on my other exams later.

Granfather: She doesn't get eaten by the eel at this time.
Boy: WHAT!?
Grandfather: I'm explaining to you because you look nervous.
Boy: I'm not nervous. Well, maybe I was a bit...concerned but that's not the same thing.
-The Princess Bride

Rant about Review Sessions

So I just came back from one of the most useless review sessions ever! But what am I saying...Yale is plagued by useless review sessions, run by TA's who "don't want to do the thinking for you". One of the TA's actually asked one of the students questions back to the rest of the class. Uh, no....you are supposed to answer the question. They asked it to you for a reason; not so they can hear their self-assured and pig-headed peers who really don't know shit answer. You see, people who have taken humanites courses know what I am talking about, we want to hear what we should focus on, themes, principles, concepts. And stop asking questions about the format when the professor said the format is going to be like last years final, which has been posted on the website. Stop asking nitpicky questions like "When was this ruling made?", because this is a political science class, and not a history class. When I ask you a question about Foucault, don't make me more confused with your answer...and if you don't know what your talking about...defer to someone else. It is to my benefit and yours; I'll do better on the test and you won't look like a pompous ass. Why aren't review sessions run by the smart TA's? There was one TA who looked like he knew what he was talking about, but for some reason, he talked the least. I hate Murphy's Law when it affects me...it's funny otherwise. Yeah...so Yale...do something about your review sessions, because they are torture for the students who are trying to get somewhere in life.

Self Absorbed

I know that this is a little self-indulgent to have two entries in one day...but what the heck..I had something to say.

So to procrastinate (which has been the theme of my life lately) I have been reading up the latest entries of some of my favorite blogs. Very different issues, from race in Harry Potter, to Muslim discrimination, to...you name it. So one of the blogs that I read that doesn't have a political bent to it, Greek Tragedy, had its normal postings about Ms. Stephanie Klein's life. I admit, that I am entertained by it all; the woman has a tongue like a razor, she insults all sorts. The New York Times described her as the "Sex in the City column for the internet". As I was pouring over her website...I suddenly realized how self-absorbed it all really was. And how important she thinks she is, because she has an important blog. I don't mean to sound condescending or to make it seem bad, it just is. And I wonder what would happen if I got as many hits as her. Would I begin to sound as self-absorbed? I mean I already am...talking about Yale and stress and my life. I am not like my friend Arafat, who blogs about serious things (and I mean these are some deep issues). But I also don't put up an exhibition of my whole life...and maybe I would be even more cautious if more people read this blog. But...no...I realize my insignificance, not only in the blogging world, but also in the real world. Which I must get back to...damn it!

Speaking of self-absorbed, pray for me people...I am going to need for the next week ahead. I mean pray for all the poor and starving and miserable people out there, but just include me in your prayers too! But seriously, please pray for all the people who are down and out right now that they might see a better day and easier times.

MS-13: Another Symptom of an Underlying Illness

It's funny how at my busiest time, I sometime find time to post an entry every day. Anyway, if you have read my previous posts, you would know that podcasts are my new thing now. Today, I was listening to the ABC News Nightline podcast that I have downloaded while I folded my laundry (I didn't really want to listen to music, odd as that may sound). The particular podcast that I had clicked on was about MS-13, the new dangerous gang that has a fast growing membership in the U.S.

The podcast explained that most MS-13 members are from El Salvador, where the gang originated. One of the new things about this gang is where you find it. Not in the inner city but in the American suburb, where illegal immigrants go to do the jobs their bosses won't do. They are much more organized than the Crypts and the Bloods and much more violent. They don't use guns, which one of the interviewees stated was too loud; instead they use machetes. All of these techniques were of course picked up in their hometowns of El Salvador, which has gone through massive and violent political upheavals. As the police perform surveillance on them, they keep tabs on the police. Furthermore, they have gotten involved with the illegal drug trade and illegal immigrant smuggling. As with most gangs, once you have been initiated into the gang with a brutal beating, you are branded for life as a member with a tatoo. You can never leave or they will kill you. They commit some of the most revolting and random acts of violence; cut off fingers, decapitations and amputations of limbs, with their machetes.

As I was hearing all of this, I could feel my stomach turn over. I stopped what I was doing and sat down. This was not new to me of course; I've lived near two major cities, both with their share of gang violence. But everytime I hear about it, I just stop and wonder exactly why do they do this? Why would they join something that is the complete opposite of what every person would want to be associated with? We studied the Juvenile Justice system in my Crime and Punishment class; we watched a video about juvenile offenders, most of whom were gang members and in a detention facility for gang-related crimes. They talked about wanted a family, needing protection. Former members of MS-13 stated these same reasons. And Terry Moran ended the podcast by saying that in order to really combat gang violence, we will have to address the root causes, such as these, but these are often the hardest to fix.

It makes me sad that this is the nature of so many of our cities and now our suburbs, when there is so much to be offered in America; what will we do about it all?

One down....three more to go!

So I just finished my Brain and Thought final paper, and I needed a way to get my mind of work for half an hour before dinner! So where else could I turn for hours of endless procrastination...blogs! YAY! Anyway, yeah, one paper down, I have three more to go: an Intro to Middle East Paper and two History of Modern South Asia papers for the take home final. That's on top of the other 3 finals I have to take. Now you know why I am stressing. Unfortunately today, I resorted to procrastination again! Mock trial is to blame, because it's like work, so I feel like I am getting something official done, but I like to do it.

So I went to Perjuries.com, to look up on the forums and see what was posted. I also checked out what Yale's competition is at the two regionals we were placed in, Jamaica, NY and Bristol, RI. The one in NY is at St. Johns, where one of my mock trial buddies from high school is going. That would be a perk for me if we ended up going. But it seemed as if the Bristol regional had easier competition, and I really want our team to make it at least Florida. I think we can...in fact, I know we can. Just thinking about makes me excited. It's sick how much I love mock trial and how much of my time it takes up. Can you believe that there have been moments when I have thought to myself, "I don't want to do mock trial anymore..." I shudder to think that such horrible thoughts could enter my head. I immediately look for someone to run intervention; most people are able to knock some sense into me.

So I realized, that I haven't really talked about my team yet. So here goes...they are very different from my team last year. There is one guy on my team that I know from working with him on bioethics stuff. Solid guy...nice, and really hard working. He was one of the few people I asked to be on a team with; that's how much I like him. He's a junior and a lawyer for the prosecution. There is one other sophomore on the team, and she's a double witness (and a really good one at that). She really sweet and easy going; she could easily be the mom, if I hadn't been assigned that role by the powers that be. The rest of my team are freshmen who all had done high school mock trial. This past weekend, I was really impressed by their performance. They all have the talent...they just need a little polishing which will come with time. I hope they are learning something from me...otherwise I am the most useless team member. And then there is our coach, who is a Yale Law School student. He did high school mock trial and has taken evidence. It took me a while to warm up to him...but I have learned to really like him. He's proven to be an amazing coach too. So yes...overall I am very happy with it all. I would be nice to have bonded enough that we will be a team next year. Ok....gotta get to dinner!

"There is one way in this country in which all men are created equal—there is one human institution that makes a pauper the equal of a Rockefeller, the stupid man the equal of an Einstein, and the ignorant man the equal of any college president. That institution, gentlemen, is the court." From To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee

Stressing about Stuff and Procrastinating!

Yeah...so it's reading period at Yale. And I have a ton of work! Nothing new, I guess. I will not have this lot next semester, so help me GOD!!!!!!

I wanted to talk about my weekend, in which I spent the majority of the time competing in the Yale Mock Trial Tournament. I just want to put this out there now; I love mock trial and I love my team. I mean just look at them....they are so cute. They look all professional in their suits, but I know how ridiculous they really are.

But we kicked ass, as always. I mean our team name is...I'M A CUT YOU...the story on that name later. I am excited for next semester when we actually start buckling down. Until then...I must participate in drudgery.

Actually, right now, I am seriously procrastinating. I am supposed to be working on either the papers I have due or studying for finals. But I'm tired of that. So this is my study break. Complaining on my blog and putting up pictures. I mean really if I think about Gandhi, the Palestinian Refugee question, or loss of function in the orbital frontal cortex, I might just explode!!!!! But that's enough complaining for now...but I'm probably gonna procrastinate a little more. I leave you with this...

The Procrastinator's Creed:

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.

8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.

12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.

13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.

A Guilty Pleasure....

Wow...I haven't posted an entry in a while (as my sister and a friend pointed out yesterday). I think that's just a signal of how busy I am. I really shouldn't be writing this entry and should be working on my paper, but I really don't want to. So...an update of my life - Thanksgiving break was relaxing and I wasn't as productive as I would have liked (the story of everyone's life). I didn't want to come home and had a major breakdown the night before my flight left. It was very shocking for my parents, but now that I am back at school, I am not as panicked. I have quite a few weeks coming up (three to be exact). This weekend, it is the Yale Mock Trial Tournament, so not only am I hosting two people in my very small suite, I am also competing with a team that is not the most put together yet. But this is just practice; what really matters is our regional competition. For reading week, I have two papers due in a row, one for Intro to Middle East and one for Brain and Thought. Not to mention all the reading I have to make up! But on to more pleasant things.

So...I have a confession. You know the podcasts they have on iTunes for free. Well, I decided to subscribe to Peyton's podcast. Peyton is a character on the show One Tree Hill, which is the teen drama on the WB. It's a trashy and unintellectual show, totally unbecoming of a Yale student (I think that's total B.S. though...I watch The O.C. for God's sake!) I used to watch to show religiously, but as I have gotten busier, I have had to be more judicious with my choice of what TV shows I watch. The podcasts, though, are not about the show. Rather they are sort of audio blogs of Peyton, who is the cheerleader turned introspective hipster character on the show. Now usually I detest these rants on the meaning of life, love and everything else under the sun, but I find these podcasts strangely entertaining; to a certain extent, I even relate to them. Of course, Peyton being a hipster, I don't know any of the bands she's talking about (she's very much into the alternative music scene, so she talks about this a lot in her podcasts), or what's going on when she talks about the other characters in the show, but there is a lot of insight to be found. She is of course supposed to be a senior in high school, but she talks like a college student (as actors in teen dramas are usually much older than the characters they play). And in a time when I need short ways to unwind and relax, and think about things other than school, I guess, it's my little guilty pleasure....